There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
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Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
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I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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