I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
