do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.