So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
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woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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