so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
nutella sex= disaster
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha