I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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