Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
