No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
