Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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