The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
