You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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