you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
