Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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