I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
