it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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