You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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