So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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