If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
