oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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