Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
