this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
