There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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