the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
