Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
