dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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