I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
