We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
