i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
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Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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