if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
