We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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