The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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