I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I enjoy the company of your penis
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