The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
