So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
