I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
