We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
