What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
