Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
