What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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