Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am available for nakedness
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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