is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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