"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
im on a boat
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