I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
