dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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