I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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