you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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