Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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