hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
