I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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