he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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