pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
