Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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