so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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