it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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