he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it's like iHOP with fire
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize