Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
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Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
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you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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