i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
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Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
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i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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