I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Mom said you looked used
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
