Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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