wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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