There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
