kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
