So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize