you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
