I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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