so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
