we made out on top of his cat.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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